the_new_and_improved_wiki_for_youfandomcom-20200214-history
DORNEAN
Slenderville High The scene opens on a teenaged Gashon (Michael Weatherly) sitting with a teenaged Kahar (Rainn Wilson) in a high-school cafeteria. In the background, a black and white banner displays "SLENDERVILLE HIGH." Kahar: Did you hear the rumors? Xalandra sucked some guy named Daniel's dick. She is soooooo hot. Gashon: Oh my god, Kahar, get over her. Everyone knows Mirta is the hottest chick in town. Gashon looks over at another table, where a teenaged Axrik (James Franco) and Mirta (Amy Lee) are making out. Gashon: At least one guy knows.... wait isn’t Daniel Asian or something? Kahar: Yeah that’s what I heard. Look out Gash, here comes trouble. Gashon and the camera turn around to see Casey (Jake Lloyd) with a mob of stereotypical white "gangstas", Including Ben Drago and Rufus Zeno behind him. Casey is holding a can. Casey: Looks like it's time for my favorite game... Gashon: Oh, for fuck's sake... Casey: GASHCAN! Casey throws a can at Gashon, hitting him on the knee. Gashon: Oh my god, this is stupid. Casey's "gangstas" give him two more cans, which he throws again. One hits Kahar in the face, and the other bounces off Gashon's head. Kahar: Can you maybe not do that? Rufus: Well that’s no fun, now is it Kahar? Gashon: Is there any particular reason you feel the need to be such an asshole? Casey: It’s simple. It pisses you off. Ben: Hey Casey, look, another target! The camera turns to show a teenaged Rygan (Seamus Dever) watching the entire scene from another table where he is sitting by himself. Casey: Give me another can. The group then ambushes Rygan with cans, hitting him in the head, face, and knees. They eventually run out of cans and leave. Kahar: Damn, he got hit more than both of us combined. He must be pathetic. Gashon: Yeah that’s the dude with the imaginary girlfriend named Makayla. Kahar: Ok now that is just fucking sad. Gashon: There’s a pool going around questioning how many times he’s fapped to her… Kahar: Well that’s gross. What’s the highest number so far? Gashon: According to some random guy in homeroom, “ovah 9000.” Kahar: Ok I’m done here. Gashon: Agreed. Shortly after that, the bell rings and the two leave for their classes. = Scene 2 = The scene opens in one of Slenderville High’s classrooms (aka Spanish class). The camera turns as Mike (teenaged George Eads) approaches Gashon. Mike: Gashon did you finish the Mexico presentation or not? Gashon: Yes, I did, now fuck off. Mike: Ok, ok. Hey what's Khira’s problem? The camera turns to show Khira (teenaged Angie Harmon) staring blankly nearly crying. Gashon: Apparently Seth kissed her at some dance and she is now traumatized. She ended up running to the bathroom crying during “Don’t Stop Believing.” Mike: Which begs the question. Gashon: What question? Mike: Did she cry because of Seth, or does she just hate Journey? Gashon: Hmm… Khira: I CAN HEAR YOU ASSHOLES! Mike: -quietly- I bet she fucked Seth with her Tic Tac dick. Gashon: Oh, she dumped his ass. She’s with that freak Bobby now. Mike: Isn’t he the guy who danced at the pep rally? Gashon: Yes. Mike: Holy shit, that guy is practically retarded... Gashon: Clearly she has a type. Scene 3 The scene opens to the school gymnasium, where a game of dodgeball is about to begin. Gashon: Wee, dodgeball, my favorite part of the day. Casey: It’s mine too! Coach Blarth: Ok here’s team 1: Casey, Rufus, Ben, Eric, Jon, Owen, Colin, and Gavin. Gashon: Great, all the neanderthals on one team. Coach Blarth: Team 2: Gashon, Mike, Rygan, Kahar, Kantor, Goji, Boom, and Reed. Mike: And all the losers on the other. Rygan: Really? I just got gashcanned two mods ago! Kahar: Then stop fapping to girls that don’t exist Rygan: I DON’T EVEN DO THAT! Coach Blarth: QUIET! Each team go to opposite sides of the gym. 3, 2, 1, GO! The entire first team get their dodgeballs and immediately nail Gashon, Kahar, Rygan, and Mike Gashon: And we’re out. Of course. The four of them move to the sidelines as Team 1 destroys everyone on the opposing side. Coach Blarth: Well that’s the fastest game all day… Reed: Probably cause you put all the athletic ones on one team? Coach Blarth: What’d you say? Reed: Nothing. o_o Coach Blarth: Ok… you guys can just go to the locker rooms now. The class goes to the locker rooms to change not realizing that Coach Blarth is watching them. = Scene 4 = The camera turns with Gashon walking out of the gym near the music hall just as his friend, Christian () walks out. Christian: MOVE IT, GASHMAN! YOU’RE BEING EXTRA SLOW TODAY! Gashon: Guess I’m just walking with gashspeed today. Christian: What the hell happened to you? Gashon: I got gashcanned at lunch. Followed by dodgeball in gym. Christian: We still have 3 mods left. Gashon: Which means Russians in social studies, torture in science, and whatever the hell the bipolar one wants to do to me in band. Christian: Well it’s your fault he hates you. You shouldn’t have called him bipolar in the first place, and then proceed to talk shit about him after the band concert! Am I missing something? Oh right, the Skype group you made to rant about him that you added Sam to. Gashon: Yes, I’ve learned never tell Sam anything. Besides, I’m sure he’ll get over it eventually. Until then, I patiently await death. Christian: Ok then. Gotta go, see you on the platform. Gashon: Ok. The screen fades out, and fades back in with Gashon walking into his social studies classroom. Gio: Hey look, it’s the Gashfag! Gashon: Hey, at least I’m not a fucking Soviet! Gio: What did you just say about me, you dick?! The camera turns to show the teacher walking in. Teacher: Everyone take out your homework while I take attendance. Random kids in the back: Oh shit. Gashon turns to the kid behind him, Dan. Gashon: Uhh what was it again? Dan: First 20 questions for the midterm study guide Gashon: Oh, right. God dammit, I only did half?! Dan: You’ve got time, she just finished attendance. Gashon quickly finishes the last 10 questions just before the teacher gets to his row. Dan: Impressive. Gashon: Maybe I just work well under pressure? The teacher finishes checking the study guides and goes back to her desk. Teacher: Ok, who wants to lead the class Dan, Gio, and some others raise their hands Teacher: Dan, come up front please. Gashon turns to person next to him, Mark Gashon: Of fucking course the one with the superiority complex wants to do it… Mark: I know right? He needs to realize literally no one in here likes him. Gashon: Maybe if he lightened up and stopped acting above everyone else, we would. Mark: Would it be worse if he was Victor? Gashon: I don’t know, just be happy Victor is a sophomore and can’t be in this class. Mark: What the hell did you do to him anyway? Gashon: Oh, what a long story. The bell then rings. Mark: A story that will have to be told later. Gashon: Yeah. I’ll see you later. Scene 5 The scene opens with Gashon walking into his science class, sitting at a table with Nick (), Ian (), and Carter (). Gashon: Oh look, my favorite class. Carter: Then you get to run from Victor next! Gashon: Yeah… isn’t Slenderville High GREAT??? Nick: Yes if you want to put up with assholes everyday. The bell signaling the start of class rings, and the afternoon announcements are given through the loudspeaker Science teacher: LISTEN TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS! JOSÉ SIT DOWN YOU’RE BEING A DISTRACTION! Everyone: José was standing up??